How to quiet your inner critic and prevent self-sabotage

Kyle Risley takes a deeper look at ways you can limit self-sabotage and empower your self-confidence

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Calmer

Self-sabotage is a common term used to refer to how some people allow their ‘inner critic’ to hold them back.

Self-awareness

To increase your self-awareness, you’ll need to practice; consistently understanding your impulses, needs and emotions requires an honest assessment of your wellbeing. 

Self-reflection is great, and techniques such as journaling and meditation are also very effective. There is no one right way but many have found self-reflective writing and meditation hugely beneficial. You should consider the events of the day and how you responded to them – for example, what made you feel happy? Stressed? Irritated you? And, most importantly, how did you choose to engage with those sensations? 

Self-sabotage often comes from deep-rooted, learned responses that can feel difficult to control or change. By incorporating a ‘top-down’ approach to understanding your emotions and behaviour, the roots of self-sabotage will become clearer. To stop self-sabotaging behaviour, first observe and understand it; you can then enhance your sense of control.

Be kind to yourself

We can all be our own worst critics. However, a consistent barrage of self-deprecating thoughts can hurt your self-esteem and ability to persevere through challenging times.

Imagine you’re saying the same things to a loved one – would you do that? Try having an imaginary conversation with yourself as if you were addressing a friend or family member. What would you say to them to offer support and guidance? 

Break down your goals

Having goals and aspirations is great, but can sometimes immobilise even the most motivated individual. Trying to break down your objectives into smaller, actionable, components and desired outcomes. When a large goal is laid out in a series of achievable steps, it will likely seem far less intimidating and more achievable. 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a helpful way of quieting negative voices and allowing you to make clear, rational choices. The philosophy involves positioning yourself as an observer of your thoughts and feelings in any given situation. Deep-seated emotional triggers and survival mechanisms can sometimes induce a stress response, while mindfulness trains your brain to react more calmly to stimuli that may usually upset.

A successful way to practice mindfulness is with meditation. Meditation encourages you to sit or lie down, take deep, slow breaths, and simply observe internal and external sensations – all without a need to interrogate, understand or judge them; simply observe and let them pass.

Set micro-goals 

A micro-goal is one which is quick and simple to achieve. This could be to tidy your desk at the end of the day, or fit in a workout after work. Doing something healthy and productive can foster a sense of self-trust and making small steps helps to gradually allow you to begin to believe you are capable of bigger ones. 

Taking the next step

So, what now? Whether you begin with journaling, setting new goals or practising mindfulness, I hope that whatever you choose helps to silence that inner saboteur.

Small steps can help build a routine of better well-being practices, moving us towards more positivity and long-lasting results.