Maintaining lasting and meaningful friendships

Making friends is easier during childhood, but maintaining them into adult life is the hard part – here’s a guide on how to get the most out of your friendships

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Psych Central

Establishing meaningful relationships can yield rewarding outcomes and even contribute to a longer life. However, the upkeep of such relationships often demands consistent effort. While forming friendships may come naturally during childhood, the task of sustaining them as adults can prove less straightforward.

Balancing personal, professional, and social commitments while identifying mutually convenient free time can pose challenges. Lifestyle choices, new connections, and geographical distances can also complicate matters.

What benefits can be reaped from friendships? Research indicates that the quantity and quality of these bonds can profoundly influence mental well-being. Given their significance, it’s wise to nurture and safeguard them.

But how does one uphold friendships while navigating adulthood? How can you embody the essence of a caring friend? Below are some thoughtful guidelines.

Uplift Each Other

Being a caring friend entails being an attentive listener and effective communicator. In times of need, humans often rely on one another for support, seeking reassurance that they can lean on companions throughout life’s ebbs and flows.

Expressing care and emotional availability is essential. However, it extends beyond merely listening, though that is undoubtedly crucial. It also involves taking proactive steps to show your concern. Validating their emotions, reminding them of their strengths and accomplishments, and injecting moments of levity when they require a break are all ways to uplift and support a friend.

Such kindness not only enriches your own well-being but can also have a positive impact on your friend’s mental and physical health. Uplifting a friend demonstrates the reciprocity within the friendship. This assurance is essential, as there may come a time when you, too, require support, and your friend will be prepared to reciprocate.

Sustain the Connection

It’s estimated that spending around 200 hours together fosters a close friendship. While time spent together naturally deepens bonds, finding opportunities to socialise, particularly for long-distance friendships, can be a challenge. Staying connected, even virtually, can help maintain these relationships. Remembering and acknowledging special occasions, such as birthdays, is a considerate way to let them know you’re thinking of them.

Additionally, keeping track of minor details they’ve mentioned, like planned vacations or job interviews, showcases your desire to stay informed about their lives. This promotes eagerness to share and stay in touch.

Usually, friendships are relied upon during rough patches, whether for venting or seeking assistance. However, it’s valuable to assess if you’re equally present when they don’t require your aid. How do you offer your support in their absence?

Cultivating a connection transcends traditional social interactions like sharing a coffee. Quality holds more significance than quantity. Striving to remain actively engaged and emotionally supportive even in challenging times can solidify your bond.

Express Gratitude

Practising gratitude is a form of mindfulness that can elevate mood, self-esteem, and empathy. This practice extends to fortifying friendships.

Being appreciated and appreciating others is intrinsically rewarding. When a friend demonstrates kindness and thoughtfulness, expressing gratitude for their efforts reaffirms their contributions to the friendship. This not only strengthens the bond but also influences their feelings toward the relationship.

Expressing gratitude need not be reserved for specific occasions. Consider incorporating random acts of appreciation, such as sending a quick text, a mailed postcard, arranging the delivery of their favourite meal, or periodically checking on their well-being.

Embrace Honesty with Compassion

Friendships often involve sharing and safeguarding each other’s confidence, and nurturing trust. Honesty is a cornerstone of any enduring and meaningful friendship. When a friend opens up, responding with genuine interest and honesty fosters a supportive connection.

Being conscious of your reactions is crucial. While you needn’t necessarily agree with every action or statement, maintaining a nonjudgmental and compassionate stance is vital. Avoiding judgment is crucial as it can undermine the relationship. Practicing empathy and compassion ensures your friend feels valued and supported.

Resolve Conflicts and Restore Equilibrium

In any relationship, conflicts are inevitable. Friends are individuals with unique lives, thoughts, emotions, and viewpoints. Disagreements or imbalances, such as unequal effort investments, can strain a friendship.

Despite the discomfort, addressing conflicts is essential for salvaging friendships. Unresolved disagreements or lopsided relationships can potentially sever the connection. Taking the initiative to communicate a desire to resolve the issue and suggesting potential solutions communicates your commitment to restoring and preserving the bond.

Remember that nurturing friendships occasionally demands engaging in uncomfortable discussions. Maintaining a friendship is an act of love that can encompass navigating challenging situations.

Embrace Differences

Each of us is a distinct individual, and life often propels us along diverse trajectories. Naturally, you might experience frustration or surprise when encountering differing perspectives or beliefs between you and your friend. These disparities might have existed for some time or could arise due to life changes.

In the face of these differences, revisit the reasons behind your friendship’s initiation. Identify shared ground and what continues to bind you. Focus on aspects that strengthen your bond, and recognise that change, even if it brings about disparities, can lead to mutual growth and learning.