What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Say

Supporting someone through difficult times can be challenging, especially when you’re unsure of the right words to say – here’s how you can offer meaningful support when words fall short

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Happiful

It’s natural to want to support our friends, family and colleagues when they’re going through tough times, but sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to offer help or support.

Whether a friend is navigating a breakup, a colleague is facing job loss, or a loved one has received a challenging health diagnosis, there are moments when people need to share difficult news. Here’s what to do in those times when you don’t know what to say.

Be Present

Give the person your full attention to show that what they’re sharing matters. If possible, choose a quiet place for the conversation to avoid interruptions. Put away your phone and any other distractions. Acknowledge their emotions with statements that make them feel heard, such as “this must be really tough” or “I’m here for you.” These simple expressions of empathy help create a space where they can speak freely without feeling interrupted or derailed.

It’s Not About You

It’s possible you’ve been through something similar and come out the other side, but the person you’re speaking to may not be ready to work through the issue just yet. They might simply need someone to listen. Overloading them with solutions or advice, especially without fully understanding their situation, can be overwhelming and make them feel unheard. Instead, keep the focus on them. Sometimes people just need to vent, and other times they’re looking for solutions. It’s always helpful to ask how you can best support them in that moment.

Take a Break

While caring for others is important, it can sometimes lead to emotional fatigue in our own lives. It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed or emotional after supporting someone. Remember, it’s essential to take care of yourself while being there for others.

Grounding techniques, such as stepping outside for some fresh air or taking a walk after the conversation, can help you regain balance. Setting boundaries is also key – for example, if a colleague wants to talk but you’re about to head into an unavoidable meeting, you might say, “I have five minutes before I need to start this task, but how about we grab coffee at 4 p.m. and I can give you my full attention?”

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. While it’s natural to want to offer comforting phrases, often the most meaningful support comes from simply being there and showing you care. Listening, being present and offering your time can make a bigger impact than empty platitudes. It’s not always about what you say, but how you show up for the people who need you.