What to do when someone is rude on Zoom

Do you remember Jackie Weaver? She may have successfully handled an awkward situation – and become a cult hero in the process – but are there less confrontational ways to manage bad manners in virtual meetings

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Management Today

It’s something women in the corporate world have had to deal with for decades. More recently, however, the issue of being talked over was propelled into the mainstream last year when Jackie Weaver asserted herself in a Handforth Parish Council zoom meeting.

In the viral clip Jackie, the Council Clerk, removes one chairperson from the virtual meeting and then calmly manages two other councillors who continue to get more heated. It leaves one to wonder, if the meeting had been conducted in person and not online, would the interaction have been any different and would Jackie have been able to handle it as effectively?

One of the advantages of video calls is that we can mute anyone who is rude or annoying, but what else can we do when we are confronted with a similarly hostile situation? Let’s see the what the experts recommend.

ROSIE HART, BUSINESS DIRECTOR, LEAGAS DELANEY

It’s a fine art, ensuring everyone has the chance to speak, no-one talks over anyone else and all voices on the call feel valued. For us to achieve this, each meeting needs the following – a clear agenda with outcomes, an owner who runs the call, and a team of people who understand that not everyone will give their opinion up front (some prefer to summarise at the end). If all else fails, there’s no need to throw people off the call – always remember there’s a mute button.

CHRIS DAWES, MANAGING DIRECTOR, OPEN DAWES TRAINING

If someone is brazen enough to be rude in the first place, you must question where their mind is at; the chances are that directly confronting them will only inflame the situation. My broad advice is to acknowledge their anger, in a non-confrontational way and, at the same time, make it clear that it is unacceptable. Use gentle language, and avoid making them feel cornered. If this doesn’t calm the situation, try turning your attention away from the aggressor and towards their victim – for example, with something like, ‘You were saying…?’

If all else fails, the victim might be advised to take the moral high ground, leave the meeting, and first explain why they are doing so; all the sympathy will lie with them.

RATNA SINGH, ENTREPRENEUR AND FOUNDER, CAR.O.L

Rudeness in the workplace is inexcusable and can be devastating both to colleagues and employees – as well as quickly eroding a positive corporate culture. To avoid this altogether, it is important to craft values and stick to them. Being true to yourself is very important. By establishing a positive tone of voice through management, conversation over Zoom, email and in person, you are building a daily foundation for the entire company. Treating someone with dignity and respect should not be difficult in 2021, and bullying over Zoom should not be tolerated. Those who are unable to act as if they were meeting face-to-face should be uninvited.

CLAIRE DARLEY, VICE PRESIDENT OF DIGITAL MEDIA, ADOBE

How you, as leader, treat people has a big impact on the way they treat others, so acting with kindness and positivity in meetings can go a long way. When faced with rude behaviour, don’t rise to it. Deal directly with the individual but keep your emotions in check and ask questions. If I’m struggling to control an emotional response, and people can see me on the screen, I instantly turn to my mum’s wise words, “Smile. It confuses people.”

However, if you see a conversation is going nowhere, make that observation and don’t be afraid to shut it down and let the person know you can connect again another time.