Navigating Challenging Conversations more Effectively

Navigating difficult conversations can be a daunting task for many managers, with a recent study showing that 57% would go to great lengths to avoid them. Mastering these conversations is crucial for leaders aiming to resolve issues effectively

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on SME Today

Research by the Chartered Management Institute reveals that 57% of managers would go to great lengths to avoid difficult conversations with employees. According to The OCM, these challenging discussions often involve topics such as performance evaluations, salary negotiations, peer feedback, or questioning decisions made by superiors.

Effective leaders must master the art of navigating difficult conversations to enhance team and individual performance. Here, we explore key strategies to ensure these challenging discussions lead to more positive outcomes.

Better preparation

Effective preparation means approaching the conversation with the right mindset. According to the Human Systems Dynamics Institute, this involves shifting from judgment to curiosity, transforming assumptions into questions, converting defensiveness into self-reflection, and reframing conflict as a collaborative inquiry between both parties.

Interests versus positions

Approach the upcoming challenging conversation as an opportunity to explore each other’s underlying interests and needs, focusing on fostering empathy and collaboration to find mutual solutions. Although it’s natural to defend your position, if success for one party means failure for the other, finding common ground and reaching a compromise will be difficult.

Understanding intentions

A frequent source of misunderstanding and conflict in difficult conversations is assuming we know the other person’s intentions based solely on how their actions affect us. When we feel hurt by someone’s words or actions, it’s easy to assume they meant to cause harm. Instead, concentrate on the specific actions and statements made. Clearly identify the impact these had and reflect on any assumptions made about the other person’s intentions.

Be assertive 

To achieve clarity about impact, intentions, and needs, communicate clearly, concisely, and assertively. Don’t minimize what matters to you; take ownership by using a strong personal “I” instead of vague terms like “we” or “you,” and make your requests explicit. Clearly state your intentions from the beginning and address the purpose of the conversation directly.